There is a company out there called Pirelli and I have no idea what they sell/make but one thing I am sure they make is AWESOME FUCKING CALENDARS. Here is Miranda Kerr showing off her tight little rack in the 2010 calendar. Don’t know how to get the calendar but it will be available online once 2010 rolls around. This seriously makes my day.

Next week TLC will air the final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. If you are sick and tired of all the tabloid stories about Jon and Kate Gosselin ( I am not) then don’t worry because it is almost over. TLC issued a statement saying that they will be working with Kate on her own show but I am not sure that it will involve the kids.

I am sure that if Jon has his way the kids will not be involved at all. So if you are a Jon and Kate Plus 8 fan like I am, tune into TLC on Nov.23 and get the final words from both parents, and hell, maybe the kids will get a few seconds of airtime. After all that is what the show is about. It is about the kids. Yeah right.

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Links that forgot why they were famous in the first place

New Moon sucks is fantastic- IDLYITW

Stephen Colbert talks about working w/ president Obama- Geno’s World

One of Miley Cyrus’ tour buses crash. Miley doesn’t care- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Some chick I have never heard of is naked- Drunken Stepfather

Victoria’s Secret fashion show 2009- yeeeah

Oprah is done- notorious news

Armenians for equal rights- IDLYITW

Miranda Kerr is topless- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Not too long ago Paris Hilton moved in with her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt and since living there, she has already pissed off the cops tp no end just like she did at her house. She has loud parties and people are always stopping by and now the cops are saying that if they get one more complaint they are going to issue tickets and make arrests.

As cool as it would be to see Paris Hilton go to jail again, I think she has learned her lesson. I don’t see why she hasn’t been attention whoring herself (well not as much) as she used to. She used to go to a club and party all night and get hammered and be photographed leaving the bar with a new dude on her shoulder every night but now she has settled down. I say BOO! Loud parties aren’t gonna keep you in the headlines Paris. Make another tape so I can keep you on my relevancy radar.

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John Kerry has a daughter and believe it or not she actually has a cool profession. She is a director in Hollywood, albeit an unpopular one, and she was busted for DUI this morning. I have never heard of Alexandra Forbes Kerry before and after looking at this pic for a few minutes, I still have pretty much zero interest in seeing her ever again.

Nevertheless, she was popped for DUI and when they conducted a field alcohol test, she blew a .06 and .08 is the legal drinking/driving limit. Basically this is a case of dumb fuck cop in Hollywood arresting someone who has a lot of political power. I doubt he will have his job next week but then again I doubt this story will make it on the major news networks. Know why? Cause no one gives a shit who Alexandra Kerry is!

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Links that everyone should know

Robert Pattinson is cruel- IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus does Seventeen magazine- Allie Is Wired

Victoria’s Secret models not in lingerie. Wait…they can do that?- Drunken Stepfather

Amy Winehouse’s tits have burst- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Chastity Bono is dumb- IDLYITW

Tila Tequila is topless!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I am not sure why Tila Tequila waited for so long to show the world her amazing tits but now that it has happened I am very, VERY happy. It isn’t like this is a pro shot,well lit, full on titty shot but you can see her right nipple just fine. I am in love w/ this pic. The next time Tila goes on a rant on Twitter I will post these pics and remind her that I can see her nipple any damn time I want to. That will cheer her up.

Nicole Richie, just months after giving birth to her baby Harlow, has been admitted to Cedars-Sinai hospital for pneumonia. I really wish this chick would stop trying to be mother of the year and actually go out to clubs and have some fun while she is still young. It use to be that she was inseparable from Paris Hilton and partied every Friday night but recently she has been real boring.

Nevertheless I love Nicole Richie and I hope she gets better soon. At least it isn’t the swine flu because that tends to be a little bit more fatal. In the meantime I will toast a glass of jager to the ghost of Nicole Richie past the next time I am at a club. And when I am being treated by the EMT for alcohol poisoning, I will puke up some jager in her spirit too.

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Not sure how naked chicks gets people to stop torturing animals and I am not sure of PETA’s logic behind it but I am glad that logic is there. I guess it is more based around the old addage that sex sells and I would have to agree. After seeing Keeley Hazell topless makes want to give up my weekends where I go to northern Canada and beat the shit out of baby seals with a baseball bat. Don’t know why I do that but when I am at home looking at nude pics of Keeley Hazell means less time killing innocent animals.

Setting the world’s record for being single the shortest amount of time ever, Avril Lavigne has found a new guy to pound her badge. None other than douche bag extraordinaire Wilmer Valderrama. I hated this dude’s voice and his overall character when he was on that shitty show That 70’s Showand now he annoys me in little bits and pieces by showing up in the tabloids.

I doubt Avril will settle in with him and will probably be back on the market after taking some new dick to the brain for a few weeks. That next hook up will be me in the disguise as a millionaire who thinks he is too good for some pop/punk chick which will make me irresistible to her. After I hit it I will call my boys and let them get sloppy seconds while we wait for the roofies to wear off. Hey man, bros before hos.

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Links that play the field

Carmen Electra might have a sex tape- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Zac Efron might be banging Pixie Geldof- Holy Moly

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise- popbytes

Christina Aguilera is an actress now- Amy Grindhouse

Ashley Tisdale is in a bikini- notorious news

The City recap- IBBB

Johnny depp is the sexiest man alive- IDLYITW

Keeley Hazell would rather go nude than wear fur- Fatback Media (NSFW)

It is being reported that two Miss Universe contestants, the contestant for Japan and the contestant for Trinidad and Tobago, are the stars of a newly surfaced three way sex tape. I searched a little bit and tried to find it, but no luck. I will probably have my hands on it by tonight and I can link it here when I am done.

I personally am more excited for the Carrie Prejean sex tape but with two Asian hotties goin’ crazy on some dude’s cock to hold me over, makes me a happy man. Not sure who the guy is, but he should be crowned the luckiest dude alive 2009. I know if I banged two Miss Universe contestants at the same time you would have to physically restrain me from going directly to the press. And in this case, he did the right thing by filming it so he can relive the event again and again and prove to his friends and the world that yes, he did indeed bang two mega hotties from across the world. Once I find the vid I will imagine I am the luckiest guy in the world. Should take about 5-6 minutes. 

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It seems that Playboy is attempting to redeem itself after featuring shitty playmates such as Marge Simpson and the non naked Hedi Montag. Now they give you Joanna Krupa who is much hotter than the other two and much more naked. I give them 7 points out of 10 because they are not giving you a good poon tang shot. Of course I am a perv who likes Penthouse cause they show more but I still have a lot of respect for Playboy. I am sure I will pick up a copy the next time I care what kind of cigar Steven King smokes.